Book Review of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking

Okay, so I'm actually going to take time and review this book because I have so many thoughts that I want to remember for book group. I gave it 2 stars on goodreads, not because I hated it or anything, but because I just thought it was ok. However, I think it is going to really bring out some awesome debates at book group and being an extrovert (who likes a little conflict now and again) I'm excited!!

The book seemed in many parts to contradict itself and there were several historical chapters that seemed to only tell part of the story (I'm not sure if that was just to serve the purpose of the book or if they just weren't well researched). I know that so many of my friends who are introverted loved this book and I hope I don't offend with my low rating. I just thought I'd share my impression of the book, from an extroverts point of view. I really did go into this book hoping to understand my introverted friends and family better as well as learn what I could do to relate with others better. However, that was hard to do when I felt like the book was attacking me (an extrovert) at every turn. I seriously got the impression that the author is annoyed to the point of being fed-up with all things extrovert which left me wondering...is that how my friends and family feel about me? So in an effort to minimize my "loud-mouthed-ness", I'm writing down my feelings here so as to prevent my introverted friends from voting me out of book group forever! I can change...I promise I can change!

So...where to start...How about...Why do we need to tear down extroverts in order to build up introverts? At first glance this book doesn't seem to tear down extroverts. It's careful to state a couple of times that the world needs both introverts and extroverts working together. However she never really gets to the point of how they can do that...or why they would want to...because she never really says anything that an extrovert does well. The book tells us that introverts are smarter, better managers, make better decisions, keep in better shape, and are more faithful. It doesn't really leave much for extroverts to excel in. And even when she does delve into a strength that an extrovert might have she usually downplays its importance. “Maybe extroverts are better at some things than introverts, but those things don't really matter anyway”.

When you pay closer attention to the actual words used to describe extroverts within this book you find that the author sees no use for them whatsoever, carefully dropping hints that extroverts might just be terrible human beings. At different points in the book they are referred to as loud mouths, "speaking nonsense", and self centered. There are at least 3 times in the book where she makes sure to point out that the introvert she's interviewing is trim and in good shape while the extroverts are described as large or overweight. She even goes so far as to describe a bossy 5th grade girl as chubby...just in case the word "bossy" wasn't enough to put this young extrovert in her place. Even in parts where she falsely offers an olive branch she still manages to get in a backhanded compliment. At one point, while trying to describe that all of us fall somewhere in the middle on the spectrum from introvert to extrovert, she says something to the effect of "not ALL introverts are geniuses and not all extroverts get drunk and wear lampshades on their heads at parties" See how she carefully ties introverts to a positive behavior and extroverts to something bad. Another way to say this would be “Only MOST introverts are super gifted and only MOST extroverts are lazy drunks”. I understand that this book is meant to empower introverts but tearing down their extroverted loved ones doesn't help accomplish this. How does feeling superior help anyone become a better mentor, manager, or lover. Never once does she mention any of the pitfalls that might be associated with thinking you are better than someone else. Just pokes fun at the extroverted dummies and moves on. I would just think that if you wanted to empower introverts you would help them understand extroverts and how they can successfully work together, not how they might be superior. And for the record, even though introverts might be more sensitive than extroverts it doesn't mean that extroverts are fine with being trampled.

As I mentioned before I was hoping to learn more about my introverted family and friends. I thought it would be good to read about how better to work together. How we compliment one another. What I might do differently in my interactions with my husband and others. But the book made me feel like probably, my introverted friends were barely tolerating me as it is. The book seemed to make the point that the divide between intro and extro was too large to cross so maybe it would be better if I didn't try.

Second, the use of famous introverts and extroverts in this book left me scratching my head. If we are going to use history to learn lessons about ourselves then it would be most beneficial to study their entire life. Not just pick and choose the stories that will support the point they are trying to make. For instance the author points out many times that extroverted Franklin Roosevelt cheated on introverted Eleanor. Helping to make her case that extroverts are less faithful and worse at relationships. However, she never brings up the fact that Eleanor for sure had one ongoing affair of her own and is rumored to have had multiple affairs, with both men and women. I'm not trying to say that Eleanor wasn't still a very influential and inspiring introvert. Just that the author should tell the whole story. She also uses Kafka and Einstein as examples of successful introverts. And indeed both show us that introverts have given us many huge advancements. However, again, when we look at their lives as a whole we find that Einstein is a bit of philanderer who cheats on his wife and has an affair with his first cousin. While Kafka has multiple fiances that he never marries and is very into pornography. It's true their sex lives don't diminish their other successes but its hard to take her seriously when she is offering up a poem from Kafka as advice on how introverts can have success in relationships.

In another chapter of the book she talks about how introverts tend to do better in hard childhoods then extroverts do. A point that was well made until she brought in famous examples to make her point. First, she list introverts that had hard upbringings and still managed to shine. Very good. But then she mentions that it takes a good childhood to make a successful extrovert like Oprah. I would think by now that there isn't a person left in America who doesn't know Oprah's childhood story. She was moved back and forth between her mom, grandma, and aunts for most of her childhood. She was raped by two family members and had very little money growing up. Not exactly a privileged childhood yet she perseveres and finds success. Now it could be that Oprah is the exception to the rule, but even if she is, why use her as an example without discussing her whole past.

Third, I had a difficult time understanding the chapters about introverts being better managers. I truly believe that introverts can be wonderful managers. I'm not arguing her point at all, but what I didn't understand was how first she talks about how introverts are more willing to listen to others ideas but then follows it up with how much introverts want to work alone. So I wished she would have bridged the gap there for the reader better. How does someone who prefers working alone listen to others ideas better than someone who actually wants to work in a group? I'm not going to lie, personal experience might have tainted this concept for me too. My husband and my father are both introverts and both of them like to get their way. I even discussed this with my husband and he agreed that he preferred to make decisions himself over listening to others*. And if I'm being completely honest I'm an extrovert that likes to work alone. I like getting my way too, but usually when going head to head with my husband or dad, they are victorious in getting their way. Maybe then it's a gender difference thing coming into play too? Which quick side note: I felt like most of her relationship examples in the book where of an extroverted husband and introverted wife. Is the dynamic possibly different if the wife is the extrovert? I was hoping to read about more situations like that.

*My husband would like me to add that what he really said was that he didn't mind me making the decisions as long as my decisions were the same as his. How very introverted indeed. ;)  

Fourth, and this might be the extrovert in me, if we really want to empower someone we can't just point out all their strengths. We have to help them overcome their weaknesses too. I never quite felt like she did that for her readers. However, she does address in the book, that extroverts are more motivated by critical words than introverts are. So maybe she is trying to spare her readers feelings? Or maybe introverts are more self-critical than are extroverts so they don't need someone to tell them about their weaknesses? When I read a self help book I'm usually looking for three things. 1) Things I'm doing right 2) Things I'm doing wrong and 3) What can I do differently to turn my wrongs to rights. I think this book really gave me a lot to think about and helped me take some time for introspection but didn't really give me any new tools to empower myself or those around me. But then again I'm an extrovert so I'm not the intended audience. If you are an introvert and it did give you those tools then I think it accomplished its goal anyway. And maybe it's not really all about me ;)

There were a lot of things I just didn't quite understand about this book. Maybe I really should have spent more time studying in college than I did dancing around with lampshades on my head. I look forward to hearing what all of my introverted friends at book club thought of it. Like I said, it's not really about me, so in the end if it is helpful to introverts than I think it accomplished its goal. As an added bonus, if they finished it without hating me for being a loudmouth extrovert, I'd really appreciate it. I just barely finished apologizing to everyone about being a red personality (after we read the color code) now it looks like I need to apologize for being an extrovert too. Maybe I just need to read a book about being an extrovert so I understand myself more before I can understand others. I think a good title would be “Loudmouth: How to be an Extrovert In a World that Wants Me to Shut Up!”.

Running Songs for Beginners

So last year I did a few 5k's so now I'm working toward a 10K. I'm running my first one in June and can't believe how hard it is to make the switch from running 3 miles to running 6! Taking basically all of December off probably didn't help things much either :/

Anyway, as I've been getting going again I've been collecting fun songs to listen to/work out to and I thought I'd share some.  Some of these songs have quick tempos but for the most part they are songs with a really strong beat that helps me keep on pace.  I try to average about a 12 minute pace which means that sometimes I'm running at a 10 min. pace and sometimes I'm walking at a 14 min. pace.  In an ideal world I would just jog the whole thing straight through but I'm not there yet.

My friend Angela and I have been running together for about the last 4 months. I worked my way through a couch to 5K program which was great but never really helped with my speed. (My average is 39 min.)  That worked fine for the 5K but now that we are working toward the 10K I really want to focus on speed as well as endurance.  So we've recently started running 2 minutes, walking 1 minute, running 2, walking1, etc. It feels a lot harder and I was pleasantly surprised that it shaved 3 minutes off my time!

Anyway, this playlist has been great to get me through the walking/running process. Some are fast and some are slow but they all motivate me and help pass the time! This list straight through gives you just over an hour of music. I'm no expert on running but I'm giving it a shot. You can too! Give some of these songs a try and see what you think.

1) The Distance by Cake
2) My Songs Know What you Did in the Dark (Light Em UP) by Fallout Boy
3) Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler
4) Radioactive by Imagine Dragons
5) Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy
6) Can't Stop Partying by Weezer (edited version)
7) Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
8) Everybody Talks by Neon Trees
9) Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm
10) The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
11) Any Way You Want It by Journey
12) (If you're Wondering if I Want You To) I Want You To by Weezer
13) Why Pt. 2 by Collective Soul
14) Come Original by 311
15) 50 Ways to Say Goodbye by Train
16) Elevation by U2
17) Roar by Katy Perry

Creamy Tortellini with Smoked Turkey Sausage (one-pot recipe!)

Does this ever happen to anyone else? You see a picture of a recipe in a book or on pinterest and you think it is going to be a certain way and then you look up what's in it and it is totally different than you thought? Well, that's what kept happening to me with tortellini recipes.  I had some tortellini to use up and wanted to try a new recipe that wouldn't be too spicy for my girls to eat.  I thought I had found a couple but then they all sounded too bland or they used gourmet ingredients, etc. So I finally just combined all the ingredients I wanted in it and crossed my fingers.  I think it turned out pretty good.

I kind of based it off of my Sausage and Peppers Penne (recipe here) but it's not as spicy since it doesn't use hot italian sausage.  I used smoked turkey sausage for this recipe because my girls love it and I was happy to see my 5 year old (who seems to be getting pickier by the day) eat it all without complaining once!  Not to mention it all cooked in the same pot (pasta and all!) I'll definitely be making this again!

Creamy Tortellini with Smoked Turkey Sausage
1 whole bell pepper (I used orange but any color will work)
1/2 cup chopped sweet onion
1 T. olive oil
1 (lb) smoked Turkey sausage ring
2 cans diced tomatoes (do not drain)
1 cup chicken broth
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. basil
1/2 tsp. oregano (to taste)
a pinch of red pepper flake (optional...but worth it!)
1 (19 oz) bag frozen tortellini
4 oz. cream cheese (reduced fat works great)
1/4 cup grated paremesan
1 cup mozzarella (to top)
parsley (to top)

In a large skillet, saute bell pepper and onion in olive oil until softened.  Chop up sausage and add to veggies.  Brown sausage (it should be fully cooked already).  Add tomatoes, chicken broth and seasonings and bring to a boil.  Add frozen tortellini and reduce heat to low.  Cover and simmer for about 20 minutes or until tortellini is cooked through.  Stir in cream cheese and parmesan.  Top with mozzarella and parsley.  Enjoy!

Frito Pie with Homemade Chili

 I'm kind of surprised that I haven't posted this recipe before! Homemade chili is so easy to make and tastes way better than store bought! It's very forgiving and easy to adapt to your family's needs.  Play around with spices to get it just right. It also makes a lot so it's great for company or to freeze for later.

One of our favorite recipes to make with the chili is Frito Pie.  It's an incredibly fast meal (especially if you already have chili made).  It's similar to taco salad but with Fritos.  It's a great on the go meal too.  I've packed it for my kids lunches by putting the chili in a thermos and letting them top it themselves at school.  It also works great for big crowds.  We've made these for girl's camp for the last 3 years.  Give it a try!

Chili
1 lb. ground turkey (or ground beef)
1 green bell pepper (chopped)
1 tsp. cumin (or to taste)
1 tsp. garlic powder (or to taste)
1 tsp. onion powder (or to taste)
1 tsp. dried minced onion
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 cup flour
chili powder (to taste...honestly I use about 1/3 of a cup)
3-4 cups water
2 cans pinto beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can diced tomatoes
a dash of  Tabasco sauce

Brown turkey slightly.  Add bell pepper and spices and continue cooking until turkey is cooked through and bell pepper is softened.  Add flour and chili powder.  Add water slowly and stir well to get rid of all lumps of flour.  Add beans and tomatoes.  Bring to a boil and cook until thickened.  Add Tabasco if desired and reduce heat to low.  Simmer for 30-40 minutes.

Don't forget all seasonings can be adjusted if you like it spicier or more savory.  Play around with it!

Frito Pies
1 recipe of chili (above)
fritos
shredded cheese
roma tomatoes
shredded lettuce
onions
sour cream

Start with Fritos.  Top with chili, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, onions and sour cream.  Enjoy!

Banana Cream Pie

So one of our favorite pies around these parts is banana cream! It's a tough choice between coconut cream and banana for me but this year the banana cream won out for the holidays.  This is a great pie all year round though.  We've been known to have it at 4th of July even! (It's almost apple pie right?)

My grandma is from Tennessee and when we were little she used to make banana pudding for us all the time.  You know the kind where you put the hot pudding over vanilla wafers and let it sit for a couple days until it's all mushy!Perhaps I'll need to make and post that entire recipe on here too. But the main thing I learned from my grandma is that banana cream whatever tastes best when made with plain ol' vanilla pudding.  Cutting up bananas in it gives it all the banana flavor it needs. This pie recipe is based off of her pudding recipe and just put in a pie shell instead.  Give it a try!

Banana Cream Pie
1 pie crust (baked)
Filling:
3 cups half and half (or whole milk)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/4 tsp. salt
3 egg yolks
2 T. butter
1 tsp. vanilla
2-3 bananas
Topping:
1 1/2 cup whipping cream
1/4 cup sugar
chopped walnuts (optional)

Bake pie crust and cool completely.  While crust is cooling, add milk to a large saucepan and scald.  (Use a large pan not because there will be a lot of filling but the more surface area the filling has to cook the easier it will thicken).  When the milk is heated, add sugar, flour and salt.  Whisk well and continue stirring until thickened (about 5 minutes).  Reduce heat, cover, and cook 2 more minutes.  In a small bowl beat egg yolks.  Add about 1/4 cup of the hot mixture to the eggs and whisk together.  When mixed completely add the egg mixture back to the rest of the filling.  Finish cooking for 1-2 minutes.  Remove from heat and add butter and vanilla. Allow to cool until just warm.

While filling is cooling, make topping by whipping the cream and sugar together until thick and fluffy.  Chop the nuts.

Line pie crust with sliced bananas and pour warm filling onto bananas.  Top with whipped cream and chopped walnuts if desired.  Allow to cool completely in fridge, at least 2 hours.

DIY Advent Calendar and Winter Activity ideas

 So I forgot to post this during Christmas time (AGAIN!) but I thought I'd go ahead and share it now so that I can repost it next Christmas :)  Growing up we always had a Christmas countdown box that had different activities for each day.  I loved it and had wanted to do it with my own kids. I made this countdown a couple of years ago using craft scraps I had from other projects.  I did buy some new Christmas scrapbook paper...because who doesn't like buying new pretty paper!  Below I included the materials I used but you could use a variety of materials.

I also included the list of what activities we do leading up to Christmas.  I try to have a good mix of easy and more involved activities.  December is crazy busy so sometimes we only have time to eat a candy cane! Other days the activity might take the whole day.  I usually use a calendar and plan my advent calendar around the activities that are already scheduled (like parties, birthdays, school concerts, etc) And I've been known to switch things around the night before if I know we aren't going to have time! We are always looking for fun things to do so after you get some ideas leave a comment with some activities you like to do in the winter too!

How to make an Advent Calendar:

Materials:
2 pieces of 12x12 chipboard
hot glue gun
ribbon
assorted scrapbook paper
buttons, stickers, material for decoration
white cardstock
hole punch

Directions:
1) Cover both pieces of chipboard with a piece of 12x12 scrapbook paper.  This paper will be your background.  You won't see too much of it so solid colors or a small pattern work great.

2) Use a large piece of ribbon to make the hangar.  I cut mine to about 18 inches and attached an end to each of the top corners of the advent with hot glue.

3) Next, cut three pieces of ribbon about 3 inches each.  Use these ribbons and hot glue to attach the bottom chipboard to the top.  Connecting them with ribbon will allow you to fold the advent in half which makes storing it easy and protects it when you aren't using it.

4)  Cut a rectangle 3 inches wide and 4 inches long.  Fold the bottom of the rectangle up 1/2 of an inch. Fold the right and left sides of the rectangle in 1/4 of an inch. This will leave you with a folded rectangle about 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inches.  Attach the rectangle to the advent by gluing the around the edges on the folded tabs ONLY. This should make a paper pocket on your calendar.

5) Repeat 24 times and glue them on the advent in rows of 4 across.  12 pockets on each chipboard.

6) Decorate each of the pockets with stickers, marker, fabric, buttons, extra ribbon etc.

7) Using the white card stock cut out rectangles measuring 2 in. by 3 in.  Make a hole punch in the top of each card and tie a small piece of ribbon through the hole.  The ribbon helps kids pull them out easier. Write down your winter activities and place one card in each of the pockets on your calendar.

Here are some of my favorite pocket designs:

List of Christmas/Winter Activities:
1) Put up the Christmas decorations
2) Eat a candy cane
3) Celebrate a birthday (One of my daughters has a b-day in Dec.)
4) Look at Christmas lights
5) Watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional
6) Read the Nativity story (we usually do this Christmas Eve)
7) Drink hot chocolate w/ marshmallows
8) Make a gingerbread house
9) Make Christmas cards
10) Secretly help a family in need
11) Bake banana bread
12) Write lists for Santa
13) Open a present (spoiler alert: It's always a new Christmas book! Act surprised!)
14) Go to Christmas parade (our town has a great one!)
15) Go to a Christmas party (or host your own!)
16) Read Christmas books
17) Watch a Christmas movie
18) Deliver treat plates to the neighbors
19) Build a snowman (if there's snow!)
20) Wear a Christmas shirt to school
21) Wrap presents 
22) Sing Christmas carols
23) Go to a Creche Show (our church does this every year. It is nativities from around the world)
24) Play a game as a family
25) Listen to Christmas music
26) Do a secret service for someone
27) Color a Christmas picture
28) Play charades with a Christmas theme
29) make a Christmas ornament
30) Watch a Christmas parade
31) Go Ice skating
32) Go Christmas present shopping for siblings
33) Hang candy canes in a neighbors tree
34) Read Christmas poems
35) Do Christmas dot a dots, crossword puzzles, etc.
36) Make paper snowflakes
37) Go sledding (if there is snow)
38) Visit Santa
39) Put on a Nativity puppet show
40) Wear a pair of Christmas socks

Alright, there's my list! Now it's your turn. What are some of your favorite things to do in the winter with your family? Maybe I can use some to get me through January and February :)

How to Make a Felt Christmas Tree

 

You've probably all seen the different ideas on pinterest for felt activities for kids.  Last year I decided to make this Christmas tree in an effort to keep the twins (then 18 months) away from the real tree.  They loved it and still love it this year so I thought I'd pass this tip on.  All the pieces are detachable so you can move them around on the tree. They decorate it over and over every time they walk by.  Plus we haven't broken one real ornament this year since they have some other kid friendly decorations.  Other ideas I've seen are a dressable snowman or a Nativity scene.  If you have little kids/babies and 20 minutes of free time I would highly recommend making one of these! :)

 I don't really have a ton of instructions but maybe the picture can give you some ideas!  Here's what I did though:

What you need:

1/2 yard to 1 yd. green felt (depending on how big you want it)

other colors of felt  (I used red, yellow, blue and white)

cardboard backing (I used an old box...during Christmas we have plenty from Amazon)

ribbons, buttons, fabric scraps for decorating the ornaments

hot glue gun 

Instructions for tree:

I cut the cardboard into three strips that fit behind the Christmas tree.  I used three strips of cardboard instead of one so that the tree would hold its shape but could still be folded up for storage.   Cut the tree out of green felt and attach to cardboard with hot glue. 

Instructions for ornaments:

I made a yellow star, white garland and several round ornaments.  For the round ornaments I used a 3 in. round biscuit cutter and traced the circles on felt.  Then using a glue gun I attached buttons, ribbon and fabric for embellishments.  Just make sure not to add too many embellishments or your ornaments will be too heavy and not stay on the tree.  Also if your ornaments have a hard time staying on your felt board you can take a brush and scrub the felt so that it is slightly rough.  This will help it stick better for your kiddos.